If you enjoy taking direction from others and need a coin to choose heads or tails on each decision you make in life, there’s no need to read this blog. If you choose not to think for yourself, and let others do the driving for you, or if you enjoy hearing the command, “you should!” well then, you shouldn’t read this blog.
This one is personal; it speaks to my inner rebel – the rebel that found his way through the forests of Western PA by choosing not to listen to those who said, “you shouldn’t, you can’t, you couldn’t.” I recoil from the command “you should” or the directive “you shouldn’t”. If you do as well, then this blog is for you.
We are each subject to the sway of competing voices. For those of us who have a conscious, we can be guided by its imperative. The conscious imperative is the voice which speaks to us when no one is looking. It informs us as if everyone is looking. It guides us in a direction that would universally be considered as socially and morally responsible.
What informs you? Does the size of your paycheck, position or title speak to your personal value? Are you informed through the language of currency, transaction or recognized achievement? Are you subject to the language of result as conveyed by an employer? Or, are you subject to a result that you expect from yourself? Do you define yourself by and through your work, or do you define yourself by and through your title or position? Perhaps you define yourself through your connections, family, health or physical prowess. Your internal and external voice will inform you, and your direction in life will follow the meaning you assign to the definition.
We each have an internal and external voice. Both voices reflect the fiber of our character – our character will attract like-kind and quality into our life. When they are in concert – one voice – we liberate ourselves from the shackles of competing voices.
We are also subject to a third voice – the voice of our peers, families, friends – society at large. This is the voice of “should”, “shouldn’t”, “could” and “couldn’t”. It is the voice that can be the consent of encouragement or the dissonance of discouragement. You can respect the opinions of others and value them based on the proximity of your emotional connection to them. Be vigilant – choose not to sacrifice your self-sovereignty by failing to heed your inner voice. Your inner voice can be drowned out by the emotional din and intellectual discourse that gains connection and direction from others.
We each have an internal and external voice. Both voices reflect the fiber of our character – our character will attract like-kind and quality into our life.
Here’s what you can do with “should”: lose it! I am of the belief that I am not morally empowered to tell a person how to live their life – or inform them as to what they should or shouldn’t do. This is a tough one for some to get their heads around, but once they do, they free themselves from the idea of playing director, dictator and “Messiah”. It’s a self-appointed position that offers frustration as its reward.
Here’s how I look at it: there are three types of people who inform us – the well-intended, the ignorant or the malicious. When I hear those words “should”, “shouldn’t”, “could” or “couldn’t”, I consider the source, value or devalue the opinion, place it in perspective, and heed the direction of my internal voice. It took years to understand and apply – it’s a learned practice, one that I still haven’t perfected. But I promise, the freedom from these words is not only empowering, but rewarding. If you are going to live your life, then live YOUR life!
What we “know” is simply better-informed certainty based on experience, belief or thought.
- When we subject ourselves to the rhetoric, conviction, belief and thought of others, we risk riding on the emotion of their intentions.
- “If I was you, I would…” Even the well-intended must relay their judgments, laws and belief system to you through their discourse and guidance. Each of us has a unique DNA structure, varying socio-economic backgrounds, and different lenses or paradigms from which we view objects and people. There is no objective form of well-intended expression. Open your mind to the following: as people we are subjective, it is in and of our nature; total objectivity is impossible. What we “know” is simply better-informed certainty based on experience, belief or thought.
- The ignorant are just that. This is where jealousy, duplicity and small-time thinking come into play. This is the point where people become willing victims, choosing to be manipulated by the ignorance, prejudice, and misdirection from another.
- The malicious are perhaps the most dangerous of the group. They are also the easiest to spot. They have the ego and cocksure arrogance that can convince, coerce and demand that you follow their way of instructed behavior. They truly believe their own stuff, write their own press, and dogmatically instruct and direct all in their bandwidth. You can hear them clearly if you listen – they are cloaked in the self-limiting belief of moral supremacy and righteousness.
You are informed by internal and external voices. Know the difference – learn to hone and follow your own voice. Follow its direction and live your life as close to your way as the restrictions of society permit.
