Let’s put a twist on the definition of “winning”. I don’t define success as a singular event. Winning is a consistency of performance — a relative predictability of sustained achievement supported by the harsh judge of time. In sports, wins and losses are subject to the determination, skill and will of the player or team (sometimes, officials, umpires or referees) — they are reflected in scorecards and box-scores. In business, if we allow a singular event to determine the nature of our self-worth, we run the risk of associating our emotional and corporate well-being through the label that accompanies the outcome. Think about it — what we own is our willingness to invent, follow, direct and alter the process that leads to “yes”. We can summon the fortitude to drive from the well of our discipline to put the process in play.
Hard-won lessons — optimism forged to realism on the anvil of experience — has led me to believe there will be events outside of our control; events that we cannot influence. These unscripted, unexpected events may determine the ultimate fate of the process.
Winning is a consistency of performance — a relative predictability of sustained achievement supported by the harsh judge of time.
We can only influence the outcome, we cannot control it. We can control our habits, extend our base of willpower, and bring a high-level of skill and business acumen to the highly-varnished, mahogany conference room table. We can execute flawlessly. We can compel through words and actions — we can position and we can polish our approach and our shoes, but we cannot control the thoughts of another. To understand this brings freedom or it brings fear. The former is liberating, the latter is an illusion of certainty and security shattered by reality. We can contain our fears. We can learn to qualify a true opportunity from a mere conversation. Conversations without purpose expend time, energy and perhaps, relinquish our competitive advantage — they dull the very edge that makes us distinctive — the edge that provides for our sustained success.
From the context of my career and the experiences that have defined my life, I’ve learned that I can’t control another person’s thoughts or actions. Awareness of this essential truism can liberate us from the chains of delusion that seek to hold us in the binding belief that we can control what another person thinks or does. There will be times and situations when we can place people in a box from the dictates of forced choice decisions. But this box of forced choice is a temporary condition at best. People will find a way or make a way out; they will do things for their reasons — not yours. They will disappoint you and they will bring you joy beyond end. They will be predictably unpredictable at times — it’s all just part of the game.
Sustainable growth is a process supported through people who deliver a quality product that generates profit. It is people who leverage process, personality and product to deliver profit. Incremental wins, small steps toward a big “yes” are a matter of position, degree, and personality personified through empathy and the willingness to engage people as people, not concepts or numbers. Each activity we perform on behalf of another either brings us closer, or moves us further, from the process of building a relationship of value.
It is people who leverage process, personality and product to deliver profit
Build your success from within. External validation is great, for what it is — it’s the applause, the cars, the homes, the money — it’s the quantitative, measurable form of approval most humans crave. Take the curtain-call bow, cash the check, buy the cars, start the business, but don’t look for happiness when the applause stops, the money compounds, the cars are in your collection, and the business is thriving.
I think true happiness is the residue of an internal assessment of success — perhaps it is the realization of a worthy endeavor — a reward in it of itself that comes from living life as close to your way as possible. Acceptance and appreciation can foster the conditions for happiness and enjoyment. Know that failure and struggle is the price of success and growth. Seek to live a life filled with love, humor, achievement, striving, and — yes — success, as parts that contribute to the whole that is, after all — you!
Now start hammering. There’s your success to be forged!
